It is my birthday. My fortieth birthday.
I started this blog as a way to get out how I was feeling so I could keep on going, and to help me see where I a and where I've come from.
I've stumbled with it for a few years, because I feel like I should continue it.
Not that I wanted to continue it. I thought it'd be a good idea.
Its my fortieth birthday. Ad that still shocks me for several reasons. The first can be found reading earlier posts.
But now... now... why do I want to write in this blog so much?
Because I'm still making it out of a lot of negatives. But instead of dumping out the negative like I've done with the past, something that I needed to do... now I need to start acknowledging the positive, let things be positive, let my life starting now be working towards something again. And that is becoming more and more important to me now.
Because, well, I know you don't know, its my fortieth birthday. For many its an "I'm getting older" moment.
For me, its a way for me to say, "That chapter has ended. Let me open another."
Because, I say this to you , to me, to whoever or whatever is out there listening-
I WILL NOT UNDERGO SUCH A HORRIBLE TIME AGAIN.
I'm done.
And I'm going to be writing in here for at least once a week for the next ten years. Maybe long, maybe short. Maybe the definition of a word, or something else that caught my fancy.
Or maybe a long long passage on the past, the present, the future.
For the moment, its freaking hot, happy birthday to me, I have leftover Indian food and pineapple upside-down cake to eat, and a little pile of presents to open. Lets party.
Stay tuned.
